Other grievances

Distressing as the American election was (congratulations Mr Bush, bad luck Iran), I have had problems closer to home.

I have lost my kazoo. People who have seen me perform will know what a vital weapon this is in my comic arsenal - without it, my act will be sadly depleted. I can't imagine that anyone would have any reason for stealing it, unless someone is deliberately trying to sabotage my career.

If anyone has seen it, please let me know. It's pink.

Also, my landlord is taking his house apart and there are builders everywhere. For a glorious moment this morning I thought that one of them was singing the Salve Regina, but it turned out to be "So here it is merry Christmas" - how am I supposed to cope with waking up to such a thing?