improvised theatre

February 28, 2005

An open letter to all car drivers

Dear Car Drivers,

I wish to point out that although my vehicle has only two wheels and is considerably cheaper to run, lighter, more environmentally friendly and healthier than yours, I still have a legal right to pull out and turn right at junctions.

In the event that there is a car driver behind me as I approach such a junction, I will usually signal to indicate my intentions, then pull out to turn right.

It may be that I this means I have to pull out in front of you, not slowing down or stopping and letting you pass, but actually making the right turn in front of your very vehicle so that you have to slow down slightly and witness my manoeuvre. Yes, almost as if I were another CAR! You may find this tedious, unfair, perhaps even demeaning, but I would point out that it is still something that I have every legal right to do as a road-user.

I am very sorry if my reckless right-turning might have added a few seconds to journeys you have made in the past. I apologise if you feel that it is nonsensical to make concessions to us "two-wheelers". I know that if you decided to ignore me and just carry on driving regardless, the likelihood is that I would suffer considerably more damage than you.

But from a legal and moral point of view, you would still have been WRONG.

You may choose to beep your horn as I pull out, to vent your righteous rage at my cheek at presuming to be a proper vehicle.

But you are still WRONG.

I wonder if you might consider showing a little more patience to poor, slow cyclists such as myself, silly though it may seem to you that we occasionally wish to take routes that include right-turns.

In the meantime, I wonder if you might also stop being such FUCKING TWATS.

Yours faithfully,

James Lark

Posted by James Lark at February 28, 2005 10:04 AM

Wow, so you actually know the highway code. Man, you're one of those rare cyclists I can actually respect. :-)

Posted by: Kris at March 3, 2005 02:16 PM

Yes, I know the highway code, dammit. In fact I have a driving license myself, as well as my silver cycling certificate, my cycling proficiency badge Gloucestershire, my cycling proficiency badge Kent (Kent was more difficult than Gloucestershire, even though the roads are smaller) and my 200 metres swimming certificate ( had a badge as well, but it was sewn onto my swimming trunks, and they were discarded when I grew out of them).

As an occasional pedestrian as well, I feel I generally get the worst of all worlds.

Nice blog, by the way Kris (although that is not a proper way to spell your name). Very excited by the idea of cocktail charades, in fact I'm now thinking of having a party with that as a basis. Perhaps you'd like to come along?

Posted by: James Lark at March 3, 2005 03:07 PM

Would love to. I'll cycle there. :-)

Posted by: A Fine And Regal Spelling Of Kris at March 3, 2005 03:57 PM