So who needs roses?

Valentine's day is coming up, and if you're anything like me you'll have come to dread this annual attack on the self-esteem of all romance-deprived singletons.

However, I feel I must point out that this year there is no need at all to feel lonely on Valentine's day, because I am doing a show at 7.30 to which anyone and everyone is warmly invited. Just think - instead of sitting on your own you now have the opportunity to spend the evening with me, in a non-sexual but still very intimate performer-audience relationship.

If that doesn't sound good enough I'll try and hitch you up with one of my friends after the show.

Not that couples are excluded - a more romantic evening I could not imagine, at least outside Italy. A couple of my friends, who have been together for probably five years or more, have decided to forgoe an expensive evening of champagne and sweet nothings and spend it at the Canal Cafe Theatre instead. Let that be a lesson to you all.

If you can't come you could at least send me flowers.